Separation
by Serendipity Cullen
Summary: "It will be as if I never existed." Those words changed the lives of Bella Swan & Edward Cullen. What happened during October, November, December, and January? How did Bella cope with losing the love of her life? How did Edward wind up in Italy? Join along on the most heart-breaking journey that ends in the most joyous reunion.


Chapter 1

"It will be as if I never existed."

The words nearly burned his frozen throat as they escaped his lips. The pain running through her brown depths made him want to take them back instantly. But he couldn't. He had to do what was best for her.

"Never...existed..." Bella Swan whispered, her head swimming. She blinked slowly, the thought taking root. A world without Edward. "No!" she gasped.

Edward Cullen reached for her cheek, but forced himself to stop. Instead, he pushed her hair back, cupping her head and pressing his lips to her forehead. He instantly noted her pulse was weaker than usual. He felt her sway beneath him, heard the gasp that fled her lips. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment and forced himself away from her. He turned and was racing through the forest, reaching her house in milliseconds.

Edward's mind flitted to hours before when he stood in her room for the final time. How he had held her treasures of their relationship and wrestled with leaving them with her or turning them to ash. Neither decision seeming fair to either of them, Edward pulled back her floorboards and hid her belongings there-within her reach, but out of her mind.

Edward looked to her door seeing the note for Charlie flapping in the breeze. The house seemed lifeless now; now that he had to leave it behind. Edward started towards his home, but he stopped instinctively and looked back to the woods. What if Charlie was late coming home tonight? What if the wind picked up and blew the note away? What if Bella _died_ out there?

What if she hated him and moved on with no care for him?

The thought of her hating him made Edward's frozen heart feel as if it were shattering into a million pieces. He had to at least ensure her safety.

Edward raced back to the spot in the woods where he left the love of his life. He leaped to the top of a tree and instantly located her. Bella hadn't moved from the place he bid her farewell. The color was drained from her cheeks and she stared at the ground. "Bella, please," Edward pleaded quietly, his fingers gripping the bark of the tree. He didn't glance away from her as a branch broke off and fell to the forest floor. He simply shifted his weight, his eyes glued to her.

Bella jerked, her eyes scanning the forest. Had...had he left? Was Edward truly gone? "E..Edward," her voice cracked as she forced her leaden feet to move. "Edward, wait!" Her heart already knew he was gone. He fled to protect her, and nothing she said would convince him otherwise. Edward hadn't been the same since her birthday party. He had pulled away drastically, become distant and cold. The way he had broken up with her had been so...so...formal. As if she were an employee rather than his girlfriend. Bella stopped cold-he didn't love her.

The thought made her knees buckle and she hit the ground with a thud. The trees swam before her eyes and a pain struck her chest. No. **No**. She refused to let the thought take root-this was because of Jasper.

"Edward, wait!" Bella forced the words out as she pushed herself to her feet and staggered in the direction he had fled.

Edward stayed hidden in the tree tops, having to force himself not to drop down, take her in his arms, and apologize over and over for the pain he had caused. He knew he couldn't do that though. He had forced himself to make the break. If he pursued her now, he'd do more harm than good. Bella would be upset for a little while, but she was a level-headed girl. Eventually she would realize what he had done for her and move on. She'd come to realize that he was keeping her safe. The James thing was unavoidable, but when his own family couldn't resist her blood, Edward knew he had to protect her at all costs. Bella didn't know what the others were thinking nights ago when her blood flowed from her arm. He did. Edward's decision had been made for him as each member of his family lusted her blood that night. Carlisle had been the only one who wasn't tempted by her. Jasper had simply given in to the temptation; it wouldn't be long before the other members of the Cullen clan followed suit. Edward had often cursed himself for endangering Bella and bringing such a temptation to his family. He had barely been able to control himself around her; it was cruel for him to torture his family. Plus...Edward knew deep down that he would turn on his family if one of them tried to hurt Bella. After reading Jasper's desire, Edward's instinct was to protect Bella. Always protect Bella. He would protect her no matter who it hurt-including the two of them.

Bella stumbled and tripped through the woods, grasping for him. Trying to even catch his scent. Her heart ached with each step-she couldn't find a trace of him. Bella tripped over a stump and landed onto a patch of leaves. "Don't...want...you," she murmured, the words piercing her heart as she spoke them. She turned onto her side and curled her hands under her cheek. She felt cold. This must be what death felt like. No sound...no colors...no life. Just pain. A gut wrenching, soul-crushing pain. A pain that turned life off. She was even too stunned to cry.

Bella didn't cry often. She only remembered crying on two occasions. The reasons for those tears failed to come to mind. All thought processes stopped when she heard those terrible words-it will be as if I never existed.

Edward watched as Bella stared blankly for the longest time. He couldn't tell if time was actually moving or if each agonizing moment of watching her lay there was making time stop all together. He quietly dropped to a lower branch, forcing himself to stay there versus going to her and pulling her into his arms. He became frantic when her eyes closed. Bella was not going home! He looked towards her home and back at her numerous times. Shouldn't Charlie be home now? Why wasn't he looking in the woods? Edward had clearly directed him to the woods.

Alice's thoughts reached him long before she appeared. _Where are you_? she thought. _We're waiting for you_. Even her thoughts were formal to him. Alice didn't agree with what he was doing. She had made it quite clear that Edward was making the wrong choice and that both he and Bella would be destroyed. Alice had also taken the opportunity to chastise him for pursuing a relationship with a human and having the entire family love her. Alice was deeply hurt that she no longer had the time to spend with Bella-that it had been ripped from her before she could teach the girl about eye shadow, curls, and the art of high heels.

Edward dropped from the tree and was at Bella's side instantly. She was merely sleeping-her pulse slow and even. He knelt beside her and pulled the jacket around her. "One day you'll understand," he spoke softly, brushing his fingertips over her hair.

"It's already started," Alice frowned, crossing her arms over her chest and shifting her weight to her right hip. "This is **not** a good plan, Edward."

Edward pushed himself up and looked down at his petite sister. "This is what's best for her," he replied, stiffening his jaw. His gaze lept to Bella as she murmured his name, the sound desperate in the silence of the forest. It reminded him of how months before she had spoken his name while he watched her, and how a light had filled him. He thought he could make this work. How stupid of him-a soul-less demon had no rights to a precious angel such as Bella.

Alice shoved Edward, catching him off guard and causing his weight to shift. "This is not what's best for her!" She threw a finger in Bella's direction. "Lying heart broken in the woods is not what's best for her!" Alice crossed her arms again. "What if she doesn't make it home, Edward? What then?"

"I left Charlie a note," Edward replied automatically. "He'll know to come look for her here."

Alice threw up her hands in exasperation. "Great, that's just great!" Her face dropped as she looked at the poor girl lying on the ground. "We should go, Edward," she finally spoke sadly.

Edward stared at Bella. A clean break, that's what he wanted. But he couldn't make himself leave her, not alone in the woods like this. Not after he'd seen how hurt she was. "Would you call Charlie?"

"No," Alice replied firmly.

"Alice.."

"No!" she cut him off, her eyes sparking. "This is already hard enough on all of us, Edward! I'm not getting any more involved." Alice fumed another few moments. "I can't," she tacked on quietly. "I know how this will devastate her...I don't want to start that process yet."

"She is going to be fine," Edward stated after a silence fell between them. Bella had a strong inner core-a core of steel. She hadn't run screaming from him months early. She sought James to spare those she loved. She would survive this.

Alice shook her head angrily. Her fists balled as she contemplated showing her sibling what she knew. He had to know what he was doing to this poor girl! Alice plucked her most recent visions of Bella and brought them to mind, viewing each one slowly.

Edward dropped to the forest floor, crying out and squeezing his eyes shut. "Stop it!" he roared, grasping his head, wanting to purge the pictures from his thoughts. Each scene played out horrifically-his lovely angel staring blankly into space, not eating, screaming awake. It was as if Alice was torturing him! He managed to stagger to his feet and make a lunge for her, but a force knocked him into a tree hundreds of yards away.

Jasper's arm wrapped protectively around Alice's waist. "Why haven't you joined us?"

"He can't leave her," Alice whispered quickly as Edward flew from the trees.

Edward stopped at Bella's feet. "Did Esme send you?" he asked flatly as he kneeled to the ground. He reached for Bella, but managed to make himself stop.

"No," Jasper replied quietly. "I followed Bella's pain here."

Edward shut his eyes tightly and pushed himself to his feet. "No more," he said harshly, turning dark eyes to Alice. "No more looking into her future."

"But..."

"No!" he roared. "It's better for everyone!"

Alice glared at him before nodding once.

Three vampire heads snapped towards the east as twigs snapped in the distance. Alice dropped protectively over the still Bella as Edward and Jasper crouched to attack.

The trees moved with the swiftness of the predator, the large black wolf appearing. His eyes moved from the vampires to the fallen Bella and he lunged quickly. The Cullen brothers threw him back easily as Alice positioned herself between the enemies before any more blows could be dealt. "We're leaving," she told the snarling beast.

"Yes, for good," Edward spoke solemnly. "She is not bitten, Sam."

The wolf growled and snarled, pawing at the dirt.

"We have not broken the treaty," Edward stated firmly. He paused briefly. "You have my word." The wolf kept his gaze on the three as he moved to Bella's side and inhaled. "He believes us," Edward informed the others. "We'll be leaving." He turned to race from the forest, then turned back. "Please make sure she gets home."

Sam snorted and sat next to Bella, refusing to shift to human form until the cold ones were gone. Seconds later the leaves dropped and a stillness set in the forest.

Edward flew through Forks, leaving his siblings behind. He didn't stop moving until he was in Seattle. The rushing air couldn't shake the image of Bella from his mind. His 'life' was over. He no longer had the desire for anything. His reason for existing was in Forks. Edward met Carlisle and Esme at the airport. His father wordlessly offered him a carry on. Edward looked to his clothes-her scent still clung to the fibers of his shirt. If he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, he could still smell her. He refused the bag and retrieved his wallet from Esme.

"Where are you going?" she asked softly, gripping his wrists.

Edward stared at her. "As far away as possible," he finally answered. She dropped her hands and leaned against Carlisle.

Carlisle gripped his son's arm. "We are here for you, Edward. Please keep us informed."

Edward nodded at Carlisle, then placed a peck to Esme's cheek. "Goodbye." He moved through the crowds and never looked back.


End file.
